last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
