I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
