I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
