I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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