S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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