So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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