I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
