No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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