Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
