Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
