the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
