"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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