I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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