he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
