It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize