I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
