Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
