...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize