I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
