Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Everything about him screamed your future.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
