sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
