the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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