No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we're so committed to being not committed
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
