Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
