you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
