I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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