why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
