Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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