***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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