idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
