im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
