i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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