VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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