We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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