Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
