he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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