your parents love me but you hate me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
