Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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