can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize