My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
