How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
