I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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