bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
