Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
