Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
