As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
