My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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