you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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