i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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