Sry I called you an 8
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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