I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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