I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
