he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
