sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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