WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
