dude i'm inner monologue high
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
